Silly ol' Texas...

Such memories come back to me today as I was released from class directly following lunch and the risk assessment would be reissued tomorrow in regards to class time pending the weather.... What weather you ask? Well...silly ol'Texas cannot seem to handle the 3 inches of snow it has gotten and continues to get. Yup, that's right! 3 INCHES. And even though it is still snowing - they shut down the military installation. So tomorrow, depending on what happens the remainder of the day and through the night, will dictate if/when we go to class tomorrow!





Isn't this snow just awesome! I would have to go all the way to TEXAS to get caught in an awesome snow storm! Too bad I didn't have the proper gear, it's the best kind of snow and completely ready and waiting to be played in!!! We've all ready made snow men... :) Tee hee hee. But I didn't get any pictures of them.

Now back onto my journal-type entry.... My thoughts have been mixed and causing a bit of confusion for me. Which is why I was extremely thankful for unspoken prayers of being released at noon till 1000 tomorrow morning. I took the opportunity to push everything out of my mind and take a much needed nap. And even though I may not have the answers, I may not have my emotions straightened out, I may not be finished digging down deep :) - but I do know this.... I KNOW that my Redeemer lives, and that He loves me. I KNOW that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, and that I love him. I KNOW that He has all ready paid the price for my sins, and that He hurts as much as I do when I'm in pain. I can feel my Father's arms around me as I cry and work through my anguish. He doesn't want me to hurt any more than I want to deal with it! He hears and answers my prayers. He is ready to take on my burdens, and is waiting for me to simply ask him to do so. By placing my life in His hands, He will give me the peace I seek. I love my Heavenly Father, and I am thankful and blessed to have Him in my life to help guide, direct, love, and protect me - even when I don't ask for help.

Down in Texas

Well, here I am - in Grand Prairie, Texas. Where is that?! Yeah, good question... :) It happens to be between Dallas and Fort Worth. Which is actually a good spot for me, because that means I get to see some family that lives around here! My Aunt Gayle and cousin Connie were able to pick me up at the airport, and I was able to stay the night with Gayle. She dropped me off to this "Grand" ole place before the super bowl madness began... The inprocessing was always the Army's finest - and sooooo enjoyable! Wouldn't expect anything less... But so far so good where the chow hall is concerned. We'll see if that was just a little trick for the first night?!

Tonight I am really missing the relaxation of the end of the day with LJ. Even though he'd be fast asleep by now, I would've had my before bed time snuggles. I haven't seen him since Friday when I dropped him off to Jenn's at his bed time. But I've been told he's eating like a champ! Lucky dog got to eat Johnny Carino's last night!!! That's ok - I had some very delicious homemade lasagna! Don't know if that was planned or not, but I loved it!!! (ps - it's one of my biggest favorite foods!)

I was able to go for a walk after I settled into my room and unpacked. It felt good to just wander around and see where my limits are (which to say, there really aren't that many!) We have a punch code to get in the building - and we have a punch code to even get in the front gate if we choose to leave! Apparently come 6pm, they send the retired old man dressing up to be the gate guard, home for the night :)

Anyway, I took the opportunity to just walk around and get a little exercise before dinner and just enjoy the cool breeze (more of a chilled breeze but oh well). Then came back and read some powerful words that really struck me as I have begun to dig down deep into some pushed down emotions. "There are two basic requirements every soul must fulfill or he cannot attain to the great blessings offered. He must receive the ordinances and he must be faithful, overcoming his weaknesses..." Overcoming weaknesses - now there is a powerful phrase in itself. One weakness of mine is to trust others until they have given me a reason not to - opening my heart to much undue pain. Not to say that I need to close myself off more, however, I need to protect myself more, along with protecting my son. And one of the grandest blessings of all - my son CHOSE me as his mother. He must've seen something I've neglected to see, but have no fear.... I will do what I need to in order to be my best.

A month away....

Tomorrow ( Saturday, 6 Feb, 2010) I will be heading down to Grand Prairie, Texas and I will be down there for training for 4 weeks. Yup, that's right - the Army sends me off to check a box and "train" me for the job I've been doing daily for the past 5 years. Make sense to you? Oh well - at least it will help pay the bills!!!

The time in Texas will be time of acceptance and anguish as I finally allow the emotions I've suppressed for the past couple of years to surface. I will deal with the pain of my husband leaving me pregnant. I've kept that buried for long enough and I need to allow the emotions to rise and essentially - get out of me. Kick, scream, holler, cry, run.... and let it all go. I'm tired of feeling how I have been and I am ready for a change. Not to say that it is going to be a fix-all while I'm down in Texas, but it will give me the time I need to handle these internal issues and come home ready to hit the ground running. I know while I am gone that my wonderful and beautiful son will be completely taken care of between Hollie, Jennifer and her family, and my amazing parents. I have been blessed for all these wonderful people in my life and able to help me when I am sent other places for training. I thank you - and am very happy that my son loves you as well!



So if you do not see me over the next month - no... I have not gone inactive - well - not yet anyway :) I will be back in March. And hopefully before then I will know if I have bought my first house yet!!!!

Happy Birthday Jonathan

A year ago, my life was changed
I never realized how I would never be the same
The powers you hold and never realize
Are the same ones that keep those around you mesmerized
Your smile lifts the spirits of all around you
Your tears melt their hearts when you are blue
My beautiful son, you have brightened my world
And given more than enough reasons to twirl


Happy birthday Jonathan Brian Piper
Your mommy loves you!

1 year photos - by Shandy Vogt Photography!

As promised - here are the photos taken to celebrate Jonathan turning 1 year old! Thank you Shandy for a wonderful session - and thank you Matt for a gorgeous location!

Catching up...

I will try to catch up with my blogging over the next couple of days - so stay tuned...

A couple of weeks ago, I was able to get off of work a little early and meet up with Hollie and the boys while they were out on a little walk when the weather was so delightful! I'm so thankful for her and her family, and all of the love and support that they give both Jonathan and myself. We, of course, took the photo opp and captured a few shots - even though LJ was a bit off on his smiling - he's still cute!






We went back to Hollie's house - and allowed the kids to play in the driveway - and here is LJ riding one of Caleb's old toys. Isn't he such a big boy!!! This toy only gave him further ideas for one of his christmas presents from grandma and grandpa.



Look at this incredible smile!!! How could this just not make your heart melt!



A couple of weekends ago, we were able to go up with a friend to his cabin in McCall and take LJ's 1 year pictures! It was so beautiful! Shandy, John, and the 4 boys were able to join along with my friend Matt and his daughter, Samantha, and her boyfriend, Steven. There was so much going on Saturday morning - that LJ completely wore himself out and crashed for almost a 3 hour nap! (side note: yes, I will be posting some of the 1 year photos by Shandy Vogt Photography!)






When we returned back home, Sunday afternoon/evening we went over to Hollie and TJ's so that TJ could help me with some of my homework. Well - when I went to pick up LJ and head over, I found this little munchkin had found a tub of red vines.... My friend, Matt, had forgotten his tub at my house, and LJ had found a new treat! He was covered.... and very, VERY happy... So I just wrapped him in a blanket and off we went! We stuck him in his chair at Hollie's and took a few snapshots of his mess...






What's even better is listening to him as he eats them.... he gets so excited over them! Too funny.

Oh how time flies...

To start on a funny note.... While at work last week - I had just returned from lunch when I sat back down at my desk. For the past 6-7 months, I have been sitting on an exercise ball instead of a chair. I've loved it - and didn't even mind all the comments about it. Well - after sitting back down from lunch and started working - all of the sudden "BOOM!" followed by "~SPLAT~" - Fletcher (who sits across the room from me) turned around to ask me if I had heard that noise that sounded like something heavy had hit, but since he didn't see me - he turned back around to his computer to go back to work. Just then... he heard me laughing... when he came to investigate... here is what he found!



Yup! I had popped my own exercise ball! And let me tell you what... even though I can laugh about (cause let's face it - it's freakin' hilarious!) it did hurt like no other!!! So yeah.... I now have the jokes about me being heavy enough to pop an exercise ball! Good way to start out the new year... :)

My little kitchen helper (whether I want the help or not...) Look at my little handsome man...



Such innocence... And let me tell you what - LJ really enjoys playing the game of opening the drawers and cupboards. It's all part of this continual learning process - and quite awesome to see how much he has developed.

As most of you know, I work the majority of my days. So spending time with my son can be challenging and a struggle. With so little time, I find myself needing to just be near him. He is my strength, my sanity, my motivation, my meditation (at selective times). It isn't very often that I can take the opportunity to just hold him. After picking him up from some friends who watched him while I played in a volleyball game, I decided to take the opportunity to just sit down and rock him back to sleep. I had to be careful that I didn't fall asleep either... but it was just so nice and peaceful to just sit their holding my wonderful son. And of course, before putting him down in his bed - I had to use the photo opp! - And yes - I caught myself with my own eyes closed... go figure.








A special Thank You goes to one of my volleyball girls from Mnt. View. Her and her family have become quite close to my little family - and they have helped me out in so many ways! Megan has become an awesome babysitter - and LJ just adores her. Last night when I got home from my basketball game, I found this sight on my couch...



Yes... that's right! She's wearing footy pj's!!! And she's curled up on the couch. I just couldn't help myself from capturing this picture.


How the year has flown by. My son is getting ready to celebrate being a year old at the end of this month. I will get ready to write another post... but look at this picture... So sweet - the morning after his birth - here he is sleeping in my arms.